READER SUGGESTS CURE FOR WRITER'S BLOCK

READER: I want to make you great.

WRITER: And how do you intend to do that?

READER: I want you to write about two dogs fucking in the street from a stream of consciousness perspective.

WRITER: What are you smoking? Two dogs fucking in the street is disgusting. Dogs don't experience stream of consciousness thoughts. They don't think. A bitch is in heat and the closest to the moneymaker makes his deposit. A dog urinating on a fire hydrant would be more realistic although I'm sure there wouldn't be much interest in that scene. Are you suggesting that a dog could be having a stream of consciousness moment while he was peeing?.

READER: Dogs are very smart animals. I have no doubts they are having a stream of consciousness moment when they are retrieving your newspaper.

WRITER: I hate to sound trite with this response, but you are barking up the wrong tree if you expect me to write about two dogs humping in the middle of the street for starters. I have never heard of anything more ridiculous in my life. Are you fucking with me or are you serious?

READER: It's obvious you are suffering from writer's block. You need to tackle something unique that will liberate your creative spirit. I hate seeing you fritter away your talent on the tedious subjects you've been posting lately. You're turning into a hack. You once displayed the possibilities that illustrated your potential, but you are at best little more than mediocre these days.

WRITER: You're saying that by writing about two dogs fucking in the middle of the street I will liberate my creative genius?

READER: Exactly. Now you're talking sense. I knew that I could find a way to clear that confused head of yours.

WRITER: You're so full of shit. Is there something awry in your life that you haven't revealed to me? It will be a cold day in hell before I will write about two dogs fucking in the street. In fact, I would quit writing before I wrote about two dogs fucking in the street.

READER: I know I'm right. Give it a try. It can't hurt.

WRITER: Do me a favor and order another round. Then do me a bigger favor and fuck off. Two dogs fucking in the street! Me fucking your old lady might stimulate me, but two curs copulating ain't my idea of inspiration.

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