DIAPERS CAN'T CONTAIN TRUMP'S BULLSHIT


I'm a piece of shit. Two pieces of shit produce more shit. I'm a piece of dog shit. I'm a piece of cat shit. Have you ever seen ducks shit? The crap pours out of these creatures like diarrhea. That's the stinkin' opinion I have of myself.
My dead parents keep invading my dreams at night.
"You're a piece of shit," they remind me as I peer into the empty sockets that once were their eyes.
Since Melania won't fuck me, Natalie placed a cake and started rapping, "You're a piece of shit, cocksucker, you're a piece of shit."
I couldn't believe my ears. Then I couldn't believe my nose as she plunged my head into the frosting. It tasted like shit.
Even JD Vance has remarked that there is a unpleasant odor hanging over my person. I tell you: I'm a piece of shit. I have to flush the toilet three and four times at a sitting because I'm so full of shit.
The Speaker of the House and the rest of the Republicans are telling me that I'm nothin' but shit. To be honest, they don't smell very good themselves. And they know if they fuck up with me, I can shit all over them and they won't win their elections.
I'm getting tired of taking all this shit. I never thought my life would devolve into such a shitty experience, but once a sewer rat, always a sewer rat.
Many critics are comparing me to the United States of America's greatest pile of shit--Richard Nixon. If it weren't for Fox News wiping my ass at every turn, I would really be in deep shit.
At least Fox's Sean Hannity in my corner. He said it best: "We turds have to stick together."

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