TO CIRCUMCISE OR NOT TO CIRCUMCISE

"Uncircumcised cocks look sloppy to me," says  the blogger Annie Gunn, El Puro Pedo's top investigative reporter who recently screwed her hundredth guy, which she celebrated at a downtown Brownsville bar where the establishment's owner Joe "The Irish Prick" Kenney presented her with a one-dollar gift certificate.

"And I always have these suspicions that there is something hiding under their foreskins. Are they even clean? It's hard for me to get horny because I imagine a turtle poking its head from under its shell. There is nothing sensuous if you think you are being seduced by a turtle."

My parents, Irish Catholics, had their three sons circumcised at birth. I saw my father naked and he was circumcised. Fortunately, my father wasn't like Noah who exiled his son Ham when the latter saw his father drunk and nude.

I had three sons, but Dr. Polyphemous Pangloss recommended that I shouldn't circumcise them and I followed his advice. I have a deep respect for science. It is a decision I have regretted for aesthetic reasons, but I have read that uncircumcised penis are more easily excited, so that benefit has to be worth it. If I had an uncircumcised penis, maybe I wouldn't need Viagra.

It was Abraham who demanded that his people undergo the procedure. How did he know that science would prove that there was a lower risk from HIV when it didn't even exist? How did he know that there was a lower risk of sexually transmitted diseases from a trimmed prick? And how did he know there would be a lower risk of urinary infections with a manicured member?

Unlike these anti-Semites who follow the likes of Donald "Pecker Head" Trump, I have nothing but respect for the Jewish people. "El Loco" Jesus died for my sins. You don't think I'm thankful!!! And I'm a Catholic because he inspired the one true faith. Locally, nobody has served our community more unselfishly than the Jewish princess City Commissioner Nurith "Nuri" Galonsky.

I am anti-White Trash. They should be rounded up and sent to South Africa where they could find common ground with those fools who still believe in Apartheid. They should take Trump with them and maybe they could reclaim their Aryan power and rename the country the Confederate States of South Africa.

If Trump does succeed in turning the U.S. into a Nazi regime, my sons will be thankful if Trump's blackguards stop them in the street and force them to pull down their pants. They won't be departed to a concentration camp.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHE

She is promiscuous. She cheats on me. She has lost count of the number of lovers. She brags about the guys she has fucked. She lies about the guys she has fucked. She charges me $1000 to fuck her. She says I bore her unlike the others. She prefers her dog to me. She fantasizes about two guys at once. She imagines a man in black raping her. She says multiple partners embody a modern woman. She doesn't believe in protection. She climaxes when a lover ejaculates in her. She recalls she was out of control sexually. She is shocked upon discovering she has a STD. She blames her infection on me.
Read more

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

SHE: "You need to teach me how and how hard to press your nipples, so that the electricity can flow through your body. I'll learn. The pleasure that it gives you satisfying me is the same pleasure I want to give satisfying you." HE: "You have learned the basics. Nasty talk has always excited me and you seem to be very frank in detailing your past. Dirty stories provide me with a mental pornography. As you have discovered, I'm not kinky sexually. I consider myself more traditional in love-making, but I know how to touch all the bases. I particularly like making a women experience an orgasm while I'm eating her. I like exploring you with with my finger or two fingers in order to make you wider. You have definitely become more accommodating in comparison to the first time. You were extremely tight although I was able to ejaculate. Practice makes perfect and the lubricant has added to furthering our pleasure." SHE: "You complained that I shouldn't p...
Read more

SUMMERTIME

At The McHale Report we don't specialize in breaking news. Therefore, it won't come as a surprise to anyone that it is hot. To those who believe the myth that God worked for six days and then rested on the seventh--BULLSHIT! Even though He resided in the Middle East, the Garden of Eden couldn't escape the insufferable conditions of the region's relentless high temperatures. He knew that his work wasn't done and returned to his shop on the eighth day where he invented air-conditioning. Bears hibernate in the winter because they can't handle the cold. We hibernate during the summer because we can't handle the heat. We seek the cold. More accurately, we couldn't survive without cool houses and cool cars. There is a silver lining. For once agreement exists between Democrats and Republicans. "It's hot," says a Democrat. "You're right," replies the Republican. "It's hot." Estanislao Contreras, the controversial poet of...
Read more