LONG ANSWER TO SHORT QUESTION

You ask me if I'm alright?  How can anyone be alright, David, when the malignant tumor that is Trump metastasizes throughout the country now that he will be president even in the blue states? He is a malevolent cancer, but at least that piece of rat shit proves a convenient scapegoat for all my troubles. 

I will never be alright. The person I most loved squeezed the life out of me. The person I most adored buried me. I have nightmares every night. No amount of pills and cough syrup bestow upon me peaceful rest. 

I perceive nothing but a future of death and destruction. At present, I am suffering from sciatica. How many more illnesses and diseases await me before I reach the end of the line as Johnny Cash might sing? I am already experiencing the brutal truth that pleasure is nothing more than the absence of pain. 

I could go on and on I reside in such a deep and dark hole. However, there are  enough good moments that serve as beacons of light in my endless night. Your successes as an educator and educated person have brought me great joy. Your brothers are headed in the right direction. I continue to savor the simple delights of a succulent steak, a fine wine and good company. 

However, from the many corners of the earth to our humble hometown, it is one tragedy after another. There are all the sins I have committed that have sentenced me to a permanent purgatory of guilt. And god forbid we discussed the double-edged sword of sex. 

Your old man is literally an old man. It won't be long before you are spreading my ashes in the Rio Grande. Nevertheless, before my demise, let's get together for a bottle or two of an expensive Malbec and a pizza. Luv ya, son.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHE

She is promiscuous. She cheats on me. She has lost count of the number of lovers. She brags about the guys she has fucked. She lies about the guys she has fucked. She charges me $1000 to fuck her. She says I bore her unlike the others. She prefers her dog to me. She fantasizes about two guys at once. She imagines a man in black raping her. She says multiple partners embody a modern woman. She doesn't believe in protection. She climaxes when a lover ejaculates in her. She recalls she was out of control sexually. She is shocked upon discovering she has a STD. She blames her infection on me.
Read more

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

SHE: "You need to teach me how and how hard to press your nipples, so that the electricity can flow through your body. I'll learn. The pleasure that it gives you satisfying me is the same pleasure I want to give satisfying you." HE: "You have learned the basics. Nasty talk has always excited me and you seem to be very frank in detailing your past. Dirty stories provide me with a mental pornography. As you have discovered, I'm not kinky sexually. I consider myself more traditional in love-making, but I know how to touch all the bases. I particularly like making a women experience an orgasm while I'm eating her. I like exploring you with with my finger or two fingers in order to make you wider. You have definitely become more accommodating in comparison to the first time. You were extremely tight although I was able to ejaculate. Practice makes perfect and the lubricant has added to furthering our pleasure." SHE: "You complained that I shouldn't p...
Read more

SUMMERTIME

At The McHale Report we don't specialize in breaking news. Therefore, it won't come as a surprise to anyone that it is hot. To those who believe the myth that God worked for six days and then rested on the seventh--BULLSHIT! Even though He resided in the Middle East, the Garden of Eden couldn't escape the insufferable conditions of the region's relentless high temperatures. He knew that his work wasn't done and returned to his shop on the eighth day where he invented air-conditioning. Bears hibernate in the winter because they can't handle the cold. We hibernate during the summer because we can't handle the heat. We seek the cold. More accurately, we couldn't survive without cool houses and cool cars. There is a silver lining. For once agreement exists between Democrats and Republicans. "It's hot," says a Democrat. "You're right," replies the Republican. "It's hot." Estanislao Contreras, the controversial poet of...
Read more