HOMAGE TO RAYMOND CARVER

"I'm frustrated," she said.

"Why?" he said.
"It's been two years," she said"
"Two years isn't very long," he said.
"Maybe for you it isn't, but for me it's a lifetime," she said.
"My parents were married 58 years," he said. "That was a lifetime."
"But things are different these days," she said.
"I will give it some thought," he said.
"You've had two years to give it some thought," she said
"I thought everything was fine with the way things were," he said.
"That's your problem," she said. "You only think about yourself."
"That's not true," he said.
"It is true," she said.
"You are my number one consideration," he said.
"If I were your number one consideration, it wouldn't be two years now," she said.
"I'm sorry, but time flies," he said.
"And in ten years will you be saying that time flies?" she said.
"Of course not," he said.
"Then how much longer am I going to have to wait?" she said.
"I can't say exactly," he said.
"Another ten years?" she said.
"No!' he said. "I think we've already been down that road."
"I can't wait forever," she said.
"I don't expect you to wait forever," he said.
"I'm tired of waiting for you to make a decision," she said.
"I will think more seriously about it," he said.
"Will! Will! Will!" she said. "I'm sick of you putting everything off until the future."
"I said I'm considering it," he said.
"I want a decision or I'm leaving," she said.
"Right now!" he said.
"Right now!" she said.
"But there are several considerations," he said.
"There are no more considerations," she said. "It now or never."
"You're serious, aren't you?" he said.
"You're damn rights I'm serious," she said. "I've been waiting for two years and I've never complained."
"If I say 'yes' will that make you happy?" he said.
"I will be the happiest woman in the world," she said.
"Fine," he said. "We'll buy a car."
"I love you so much, honey," she said. "After two years I'm so tired of walking."
"I love you, too, honey," he said. "I just want you to be happy."
That afternoon they went to a used car lot. He bought her a 2010 Hondo Accord with a 110,000 miles for $8,000.
"You're the best," she said.
"You only deserve the best," he said.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHE

She is promiscuous. She cheats on me. She has lost count of the number of lovers. She brags about the guys she has fucked. She lies about the guys she has fucked. She charges me $1000 to fuck her. She says I bore her unlike the others. She prefers her dog to me. She fantasizes about two guys at once. She imagines a man in black raping her. She says multiple partners embody a modern woman. She doesn't believe in protection. She climaxes when a lover ejaculates in her. She recalls she was out of control sexually. She is shocked upon discovering she has a STD. She blames her infection on me.
Read more

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

SHE: "You need to teach me how and how hard to press your nipples, so that the electricity can flow through your body. I'll learn. The pleasure that it gives you satisfying me is the same pleasure I want to give satisfying you." HE: "You have learned the basics. Nasty talk has always excited me and you seem to be very frank in detailing your past. Dirty stories provide me with a mental pornography. As you have discovered, I'm not kinky sexually. I consider myself more traditional in love-making, but I know how to touch all the bases. I particularly like making a women experience an orgasm while I'm eating her. I like exploring you with with my finger or two fingers in order to make you wider. You have definitely become more accommodating in comparison to the first time. You were extremely tight although I was able to ejaculate. Practice makes perfect and the lubricant has added to furthering our pleasure." SHE: "You complained that I shouldn't p...
Read more

SUMMERTIME

At The McHale Report we don't specialize in breaking news. Therefore, it won't come as a surprise to anyone that it is hot. To those who believe the myth that God worked for six days and then rested on the seventh--BULLSHIT! Even though He resided in the Middle East, the Garden of Eden couldn't escape the insufferable conditions of the region's relentless high temperatures. He knew that his work wasn't done and returned to his shop on the eighth day where he invented air-conditioning. Bears hibernate in the winter because they can't handle the cold. We hibernate during the summer because we can't handle the heat. We seek the cold. More accurately, we couldn't survive without cool houses and cool cars. There is a silver lining. For once agreement exists between Democrats and Republicans. "It's hot," says a Democrat. "You're right," replies the Republican. "It's hot." Estanislao Contreras, the controversial poet of...
Read more