COCKROACHES

I don't know how long ago it was, but it's been decades, not years. I don't know where I was. It was probably a flophouse down a dark downtown street.

I don't remember who she was. Was she a prostitute, a one-night stand? Quien sabe? I can only speculate, but I'm certain she wasn't pretty and I'm certain I was drunk.

When you're horny, you can't think straight. When you're drunk and horny, you can't think period.

We were sleeping back to back. I was almost asleep when I heard giggling. I thought I might be dreaming, so I closed my eyes when I heard the giggling again.

"Stop tickling me," she laughed.

"Stop tickling you?"

"Yes, stop tickling me."

I had no idea what she was talking about. I turned toward her, pulled back the covers and to my disgust there were several cockroaches running up and down her back.

I have no memory of my reaction. I don't know if we weathered the night together or if I dressed and departed.

Being young and single, I suppose I could label that time as the good ol' days. I'm living the "golden years" now when aches and pains, financial burdens and family squabbles dominate my being.

Looking at my existence from my present perspective, sharing a bed with a floozy and several cockroaches doesn't seem so repulsive after all.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHE

She is promiscuous. She cheats on me. She has lost count of the number of lovers. She brags about the guys she has fucked. She lies about the guys she has fucked. She charges me $1000 to fuck her. She says I bore her unlike the others. She prefers her dog to me. She fantasizes about two guys at once. She imagines a man in black raping her. She says multiple partners embody a modern woman. She doesn't believe in protection. She climaxes when a lover ejaculates in her. She recalls she was out of control sexually. She is shocked upon discovering she has a STD. She blames her infection on me.
Read more

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

SHE: "You need to teach me how and how hard to press your nipples, so that the electricity can flow through your body. I'll learn. The pleasure that it gives you satisfying me is the same pleasure I want to give satisfying you." HE: "You have learned the basics. Nasty talk has always excited me and you seem to be very frank in detailing your past. Dirty stories provide me with a mental pornography. As you have discovered, I'm not kinky sexually. I consider myself more traditional in love-making, but I know how to touch all the bases. I particularly like making a women experience an orgasm while I'm eating her. I like exploring you with with my finger or two fingers in order to make you wider. You have definitely become more accommodating in comparison to the first time. You were extremely tight although I was able to ejaculate. Practice makes perfect and the lubricant has added to furthering our pleasure." SHE: "You complained that I shouldn't p...
Read more

SUMMERTIME

At The McHale Report we don't specialize in breaking news. Therefore, it won't come as a surprise to anyone that it is hot. To those who believe the myth that God worked for six days and then rested on the seventh--BULLSHIT! Even though He resided in the Middle East, the Garden of Eden couldn't escape the insufferable conditions of the region's relentless high temperatures. He knew that his work wasn't done and returned to his shop on the eighth day where he invented air-conditioning. Bears hibernate in the winter because they can't handle the cold. We hibernate during the summer because we can't handle the heat. We seek the cold. More accurately, we couldn't survive without cool houses and cool cars. There is a silver lining. For once agreement exists between Democrats and Republicans. "It's hot," says a Democrat. "You're right," replies the Republican. "It's hot." Estanislao Contreras, the controversial poet of...
Read more