CHURCH OF THE CRAZY CHRIST COMES UNDER FIRE

"Any Muslim who converts to The Church of the Crazy Christ should be beheaded," says Iman Hassen bin L'aid.

"Any Jew who believes in the teachings of The Church of the Crazy Christ should be stoned to death even if it's the Sabbath," states Rabbi Solomon El-David.
"It is sad that the fanatics of these two mythologies are closed-minded when it comes to a person's beliefs and will resort to violence in order to punish others who don't pay homage to their idols," offers the Reverend Jesus P. Cadissimo, the titular head of the new Christian denomination.
"No different than the Hindus who worship the cow, we worship the pig," continued the defrocked Catholic priest who outed the church's many pedophiles as well as Donald Trump via the Anti-Christ's lecherous apostles.
"We believe that the universe was created by an omniscient and omnipotent pig who resides on a sacred planet in the middle of the Milky Way. From Him emanates ceaseless energy that allows our galaxy to revolve around its center in an orderly fashion. He has no control over other galaxies and the universe is beyond His comprehension.
"Unlike the Hindus, however, we sacrifice pigs to our God in order to curry favor for his beneficent blessings. He is a humble and modest God who from the ancient rituals honoring Him inspired the Catholics to perform the sacrament of the Eucharist in which bread and wine are spiritually turned into the body and blood of Our Lord.
"In our canon, we agree with the Islamists that Jesus was a great prophet, but our view differs in that the bastard son born of a raped virgin came to earth to deliver the glad tidings of Our Pig God.
"The Muslims and Jews' prejudices against eating pork is a major reason that humanity hasn't come together. These cultists have been indoctrinated at an early and impressionable age to accept certain tenets as absolute truths and are willing to kill and die for their extremism. .
"Nevertheless, our doors remain open to our Muslim and Jewish brothers and sisters. We lament that these two twisted philosophies regarding existence precipitate war rather than peace and we pray that one day they will be enlightened by the simple insights of Our Pig God.

"We also give thanks that we weren't created in the image and likeness of a pig. He is a good, kind, generous and forgiving Being who peaches that all humanity will join Him in the mire upon their deaths in a cleansing eternity." 

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